I saw a YouTube video that rekindled a fire for some things I used to dream of doing years ago. Since watching the video, doors began to open for me, and I began to fulfill some of my heart’s desires. For a long time I wanted to work with my hands and build, I just didn’t know where to begin. It’s so late in my life. I feel like I’m getting started with life late. I have contended with depression since I was a child. Trying to overcome it has been a struggle.

It isn’t just, you’re sad all the time, yes that, but for me it was my lifestyle. I had low self-worth, no confidence, mind battles, and then living in fornication, having children out of wedlock, the abortions I had, the different men I slept with, and whatever else I was into. I was going down a rabbit hole with no ending in sight and didn’t know how to stop. I was hellbound for sure.

However, once I overcame depression and learned to deal with my issues, (through prayer and fasting, of course). I now know it was not me causing the issues but the spirit within me causing the issue.

Because of the sin I was in, it gave the enemy a foothold in my life. The Bible says: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spirits and principalities in high places. Ephesians 6:12. When your lifestyle doesn’t line up with the lifestyle Christ has for you, you are in sin. When you are in sin, you are in the enemy’s territory. You are giving the enemy permission to wreak havoc in your life. The Bible says the enemy only comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and that is exactly what the enemy was doing to me because of the sin I was in.

After giving my life over to Christ by repenting and coming out of sin, I have been able to see there is SO MUCH WORK to be done for the kingdom of Christ. The desires that were in my heart years ago began to flood my heart again. So much so that I began to be sick at heart because I didn’t have the finances or a way to begin fulfilling these desires.

In May of this year, doors began to open and I was able to begin doing with a few of the things I loved to do. I began volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. I love construction and building and want to learn everything about it. Because of my faithfulness more doors have been opening. I have been meeting people that is helping me to catapult me to my destiny. Mountains are being moved, barriers are being broken. I am riding in God’s grace stream, and it feels amazing!

I was sitting in the car today and God gave me a glimpse of what was to come for me. When I say a glimpse, it was probably less than a second glimpse. Let me tell you, My life hasn’t been easy by any means; however, I have heard stories of other people’s lives and obstacles they have had to overcome and my God, my God it has made my life look like a cakewalk. But as for me, for years I have kicked and screamed crying out to God for understanding and help. I couldn’t understand why I was alive just to go through the hell I went through.

It took many years for me to get an answer. The more I yielded to Christ and read his word and became a part of a ministry where I sat under a pastor who taught the word and it healed me. I learned the enemy hates me because I love Christ. He doesn’t want us to worship or serve, so he does everything in his power to rob us of the gifts of God.

However, if we keep on living, we keep seeking truth and righteousness. If we don’t give up, we will find the one and true living God. I found the truth! I sat there for years and listened to how dirty I was, and I learned to repent and live a Christ-centered life by coming out of sin. I clung to the truth and didn’t let go. No matter how much I wanted to run and get away, I sat there and listened, then I labored, Christ cleaned up my life and freed me from the bondage of sin.

My glimpse was less than a second but I felt it and grasped it. Wherever I was, I felt joy. I was around people and I was free from condemnation. I was free from the spirit of the world. I was where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there.

This glimpse gave me an understanding of where I’m going and calmed my spirit about some things I was concerned about. Some things like time. Time to do what Christ has placed in my heart. Forgive me Lord for being concerned about Godly things. I repent and return to moving forward in you Christ Jesus. I say yes Lord yes and I press on towards the calling of Christ. I don’t want to be like the man who buried his 1 talent. Lord I don’t want to return to you void. Let me return to you empty having done all you have called me to do. I love you, I bless you and I adore you. Have your way in me. In Jesus name I pray,

Amen.