It is 3am. I am bright-eyed because I took a nap earlier yesterday. My home is calm. Everyone is asleep entering the dream realm I presume. I have been up writing and watching my usual YouTubers. It is very peaceful and quiet right now.

Reflecting on my day yesterday, I remember a conversation with my oldest son. I was telling him about my WordPress blog and how excited I am about it as well as the book I just wrote and will be publishing soon. He said “Momma! You should have been done had a lot of books out by now. As crazy as it was when we was growing up!” He then began to remind me of some crazy things I did when they were growing up. I had to laugh because I really had forgotten about them. He said “It was fun when we was growing up. He said he got into so much stuff. The statute of limitations is almost up, and then he will be able to tell me the stories). I can’t wait to write that book!

Later on in the day, I got to have a heart-to-heart with my second son. I do not get to speak with him very often. He is on his own journey so It was truly a moment I will cherish forever. We discussed how broke we were when they were growing up. I’m telling you all, it was only the grace of God. I really don’t know how I made it. My children and I never lived in the projects nor were we ever homeless, but we struggled hard and everyone saw it. The lights got shut off a few times. I just didn’t have the money. Sometimes there was no food or not enough food.

Talking to my second son he said you know what momma? I’m glad we went through that because it made me who I am today. Back then it was you and us and even though you may still struggle, at least you are not alone. You’re going to be ok.

I know we shouldn’t wish but it would have been nice if my story was different. If I could have done it the right way. If I could have waited till marriage to have children. If I didn’t experience everything I experienced but I did. I cannot go back and change anything. However, speaking to my boys, who went through it all with me, and don’t resent me or disrespect me and they remind me that even though it was hard, we are all ok.

That blessed me. We women are hard on ourselves. I have all of these shoulda, woulda, coulda, thoughts that run rapid in my mind sometimes, I needed to hear that from them today. Despite it all, there is no resentment. I needed to hear, it’s ok we’re going to be alright.

My phone was stolen Monday. I realized Tuesday it was really gone, I didn’t have it in my possession anymore. I tracked the phone and it was in the next state (across the bridge). So, from my watch, I got my IMEI number and serial number and called the police to make a report. I tracked my phone through iCloud.

My husband and I went to the location, (it wasn’t a physical address, or the police would have had to go with us) and couldn’t find it. I don’t have insurance on the phone and I purchased the phone from the Apple store a few years back so I guess I have to go purchase a new phone I thought. What if someone needs to reach me? What if my pastor needs me to do something. What if, what if!

Because my youngest son has me and my daughter on his plan together I called him from my watch and told him what happened. He said “Momma! You can go get a new phone. I got insurance on you’re phone. It’s ok.”

Yeah, I gotta come up with $200 for a new phone but to know that my baby boy has me covered! I said all that to say be easy. Learn to just be still even in a situation that doesn’t look so good. Be easy. Sit still and listen to the Holy Spirit. Bad things happen to good and bad people. If I was still depressed, I would give up and just cry, but nope not anymore. I don’t know what the world calls it when bad things keep happening back to back, but we Christians call it spiritual warfare. Here is where we grind in prayer, fasting, and worship to call on our God to stop the enemy sometimes, but this time I choose to be easy and listen to the Lord. Watch him fight my battle.

My sons had to remind me that it is going to be ok and to be easy on myself. everybody is ok and we all live to fight another day, and you know what? Their right. God is working it all out for my good. Don’t stress and worry about the small things.

A phone is replaceable, and the car is fixable. Trust in the Lord and in his word. Sit back and watch him work it all out for you. Give all your stress and worries to him and lean not to your own understanding. Things will work out, just be easy.