Dearest gentle reader,

To make it out of depression, I did not talk with a therapist or medication. I was freed from depression, low self-esteem, and all my other demons only by prayer, fasting, faith, and hope, so I will continue to conduct myself in the same manner.

I never want to go back. I never want to see that experience that darkness again. unorganized and chaotic thoughts. Some dark, some sad some sorrowful. It was a lot of work climbing out of that dark place. I had to go deep into prayer and find out who Christ was and understand what he did for me. I also had to learn how I should truly be living and in what manor I should be conducting myself.

For me not go to back, I will need to change everything. Everything I was doing and participating in back then I will need to not do anymore. I need to change my old ways. Before I didn’t pray, I didn’t fast, I didn’t read my bible, I didn’t eat correctly. I was not structured, I had no goals, no dreams, no aspirations. I didn’t expect to live this long or have any self esteem.

Changing has not been an easy task. To change my mindset has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done. To learn to dream and have goals. To learn who Jesus Christ is and that he loves me and wants the best for me. To learn who I am and what I like to do. It was not easy for my family either. I was not that person they could walk over anymore. That person who they could talk about behind my back and smile in my face. I had to learn who I was and I had to see them for who they were. I had to learn to say no to some people.

At the age of 35, I decided it was time to come out of this depression. Enough is enough. I’m tired of the darkness, the, loneliness, the crazy thoughts. Changing my mindset was the most difficult thing to do. I am now 47 and I still have to pray and seek God everyday. I have to renew my mind in the word of God every day. I still have to fast.

I started going back to church in my late 20’s. It was a large church my mom and sister chose . They had already formed relationships there. I just knew I had to start going back and start somewhere and I had no one I trusted as a spiritual advisor but I knew I had to start somewhere so I joined. I already had 4 children, and I knew it was time to do something different, so I sat, I listened. I began to grow by getting out of my comfort zone and joined ministries. Meeting new people. Showing up when called upon. Making sure my children were involved as well. Creating relationships with like minded people.

I stayed at the church learning and growing and for 13 years, before I felt led to join another ministry. A ministry I have been at for the last 15 years. It was a very difficult decision for me. The Lord had to force me out of that church because I was not leaving unless I knew without a shadow of a doubt it was him leading me.

I will never have anything bad to say about that ministry. No matter what I hear. It was a place of change for me. It is where my depression began to break and I began to get outside of myself. It was a place where I was introduced to Christ and my true journey began. My journey of healing began.

overcoming depression is not an easy task. Just knowing something had to change was a task all in itself. It is a lot of work but it is amazing on the other side.

Do something different, start something new, get out of yourself and your mind. You can do it!

If you would like for me to pray for you I can do that. You are welcome to email me at

itsanewme513@outlook.com

It will be a long journey but I’m ready to ride with you all the way.

Have an amazing day.